So this is my wrongity wrong word list…

Awesomeness: denoting something is awesome, easy.
Ackcherloi/Acktuarly: much better spelling.
Eated: contributed by M+, the act of having eaten.
Speshul: again better spelling.
Electrickery: bonus points for reference
doing LOLcat adding “ing” and “ation” at the wrong time
Purdy and gawn: ‘cos down on the range talk is the kewlest.
Kewl: from V, and useful for when my c isn’t working.
Teef: works for both teeth and thief.
Sees: To see, to have seen, pretty much anything involving sight.
Misunderestimated: thank you Mister Bush.
Prix/fur/de/la: pinching foreign words a grand tradition…

What are your wrong, but oh so right,  words?

(and yeah substance will return at some point…)

Be ready for the come down children…but in the meantime I give you Cake…

The 42…

The Dogs of Riga-Henning Mankell
I’m divided over Mankell’s decision to stop writing Wallander novels. Partly I think its absolutely right to stop whilst at a good place, writing wise, rather than dragging things out. Buuuut I really love the Wallander stories, they are almost as perfect as Sjowall and Wahloo.

Love Lucy-Lucille Ball
One of only two celebrity memoirs I own (the other being Cybill Shepherd’s considerably more frank biography). Clearly there’s some editing of history, as there is in all memoirs (unless you’re too honest for your own good) but its enjoyable none the less. I am a devoted Lucille Ball fan. Not only as Lucy, but her earlier films (often ignored) too. And post “I Love Lucy” was a bit, erm, shaky shall we say. I suspect though if you don’t love Lucy its probably not for you.

Pugin-Land-Michael Fisher
I have this for the pictures more than anything. My architectural loves are very different. On one hand I love Frank Lloyd Wright and Bauhaus modernist brutality (though Le Corbusier is a stretch for me it has to be said), but on the other I love over decorated Gothic revivalism. Pugin is best known for his work on the Houses of Parliament, but his ecclesiastical work is where the very religious man was most fantastical. My atheist ass may not step into churches very often, but the ones in this book (all in Staffordshire) are just stunning.

The Tale of Peter Rabbit-Beatrix Potter
My paternal grandmother bought me 6/7 (I’d have to go and count them) of the Beatrix Potter books when I was very small. I love Beatrix Potter’s tales, not only are they beautifully drawn, but they’re brutal. A couple of years ago a chap in The Guardian (I think?) was discussing the cruelty in the stories and how he didn’t want to read them to his children because of that. Yes they are cruel, but erm newsflash so are children. In fact its one of the things I quite admire about small children, their capacity for directness to the point of tears and cunning that would make Machiavelli proud. The farmer plans to eat Peter and Benjamin, well that’s what farmers do. I’ve met enough of them to know they properly bloody enjoy bunny removal. Sadly (though I do get why rabbits annoy them).

The Art of Barbie-Craig Yoe
I know there’s lots of reasons that I *shouldn’t* like Barbie, but I don’t care. a) I find many of the reasons spurious and insulting and b) I’ve never been especially inclined to do what I’m supposed to. Personally I think its part of my charm. Others may disagree. Anyway there’s plenty of subversive images of Barbie in here, the kind that Mattel go hyper legal over (though I suspect they’re still a bit embarrassed by the Aqua case-Danish mad as feck pop strumpets 1, Mattel 0) and its all the more fabulous for the subversion.

The Acid House-Irvine Welsh
Lots of people seem a bit scared of the fact that Welsh writes in dialect, but fear not you just have to think in an accent. It takes a bit of reading out loud in (a very bad) Scottish accent to begin with, which I suggest, if you are like me and awful at said accent, you do alone. Once you’ve got it in your head it flows quite nicely. And for relief parts of this book are in standard English prose. The parts in dialect though are some of the best bits, some of the humour is nasty, but it’s very funny.

Elizabeth and her German Garden-Elizabeth von Arnim
Memoir meets novel. I really do like this. I don’t love it as much as EM Delafield’s Diary of a Country Lady, but I do enjoy the wit. Clearly it isn’t a life I can easily relate to on several levels not suffering the staff frustrations of Countess von Armin, but lots of it is surprisingly easy to understand.

The Silver Arrow A Robin Hood Adventure-Ladybird
Its from 1955 and was my mum’s/her brothers’. The story is blooming awful, but its an old book and y’know I *am* a Nottingham gal. I sort of feel obliged to have something Robin Hood in my house (even if by and large I don’t give much of a toss).

Powder Puff Derby-Mike Walker
Apart from that back of my mind terror of a painful death amongst strangers I love aeroplanes. What I particularly love about aviation was that it was a way for women to get some freedom at the start of the twentieth century. Yes, by and large they were wealthy women (though not all), but in terms of access to making decisions about their life the ability to own more jewellery does not make you any more franchised. It just makes you a chattel with nicer necklaces. Being able to fly away, even for a little while, must have been the most wonderful feeling.

Lempicka-Gilles Neret
I’m not much keen on finding myself having anything in common with Madonna, but I do love the paintings of Tamara de Lempicka. They oooze the 1920s. I wish my boobs looked like those of the women in her paintings (well not quite, that pointing would be highly inconvenient at times)…

Pleasure Trips by Underground
I dunno if you’d noticed but I’m a bit of a train fan. And a bit of a 30s fan. And as last post’s list established a map fan. So the London Underground is rather fabulous in my mind. Though my body isn’t always that keen on it…That besides this book of posters is wonderful…Apparently I should spend my Easter Holiday in Golder’s Green, see cows in Hounslow (different sort these days I’d wager), find nature’s playground in Ruislip, go to the dogs at Tooting, and only use the underground between ten and four for my shopping so I don’t get caught up in the bustle of all those jolly clever businessmen.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory-Roald Dahl
This was my 8th birthday present from my mum. It even says so inside. I liked the Gene Wilder film so much and she was greatly amused by it being a Charlie (and if anyone ever calls me that they will get a slap) so bought me the book. I have the sequel somewhere. I am less keen on this particular edition since it lacks Quentin Blake illustrations. I love QB drawing so much I have a t-shirt and a bag declaring this (I’m a multi discipline kind of nerd ). However, I love Dahl’s writing, for many of the reasons I love Beatrix Potter. All children should read at least one Roald Dahl book. Actually no all people full stop should read at least one Roald Dahl book (non readers could choose from the better film versions of his books, or “the Tales of the Unexpected”)

The Gothic Revival-Chris Brooks
Lots of pictures of very beautiful buildings and objects, and some that are a little bit too overdone even for me. Also quite a bit of pretentious scholarly discussion about said objects. It never ceases to amaze me how much of a twat people discussing art can make themselves sound. Nice pictures though

Around Nottingham-Douglas Whitworth
Well its a lot of old pictures of Nottingham basically. I have quite a lot of books that fit that description. I like them, but I imagine they’re not massively interesting if you’ve never lived in Nottingham.

Screen Style-Sarah Berry
Not one for lots of pictures, but a genuinely interesting and insightful discussion about the use of fashion in early Hollywood. Well interesting to me anyroad.

Fabulous Frocks-Jane Eastoe and Sarah Gristwood
Not a book to learn from, just a series of pretty pictures. You have to like dresses really to get the most out of this.

The Surgeon of Crowthorne-Simon Winchester
Considering this is non fiction it has pretty much all the ingredients of a good novel: Broadmoor, etymology and mad doctors. Good for word nerds and not easily summed up…

Scepticism Inc.-Bo Fowler
Actually thieved from an ex along with another Bo Fowler book, but he had just bought them with no particular intention of reading them. I seem to be attracted to men who go through “phases”. In this case a phase of buying anything book shaped, and then just storing them on shelves for no apparent reason.
The book, however, is great. Unlike the ex. I absolutely recommend it, especially if you happen to be cynical about organised religion.

The Wizard of Oz-Salman Rushdie
Rushdie manages to make the greatest film on the planet sound like torture, *sigh*. Anyways in much the same way that I have the later, really quite cack, Lucy programmes on DVD because I *have to*, I feel the need to own this. Don’t bother.

Woman’s World-Graham Rawle
This manages to get both experimentation and graphic novelling in one book. I really want his Wizard of Oz book, but ’tis deathly expensive. I got this because no-one bought it in the branch of WHS I used to work at (I’m not surprised since the market demographic is readers of those ultra depressing “My Life is Shit and I Feel Compelled to Tell You and Oprah all about It” memoirs. And Mills and Boon novelellas, which are at least cheerful if formulaic). Its the best 20p ever spent.

East of Wimbledon-Nigel Williams
Another freebie novel that went right. I got this free with Tatler . And then went out and bought all his other Wimbledon books. I even enjoyed the televised version of The Wimbledon Poisoner, though it having Robert Lindsay and Philip Jackson in may possibly have helped with my enjoyment…

Jane Bown Observer
This is one of two Jane Bown books I own. I love her portraits, so beautiful, honest, and natural. No over-airbrushed fucking about, love it.

All Passion Spent-Vita Sackville-West
Like Elizabeth von Arnim there’s so much of this that I can’t relate to that I really shouldn’t like it. But V S-W’s writing is both evocative and a bit like being trapped in a Jeeves and Wooster story all at once, that I can’t help but like it. It helps I think that I have a long standing affection for the early twentieth century and was forced to watch repeated episodes of “Upstairs Downstairs” and “The Duchess of Duke Street” by my ex (now you see why I stole the books?!)

A Landing on the Sun-Michael Frayn
One of my drama teachers was in the television version of this. He was a policeman, for all of 30 seconds I think. Either way I loved this on TV and bought the book. Usually the dramatisations of any novel lead to an unsatisfactory feeling if you loved either the book or the screen version. This does not. The television version was fabulous and the book is fabulous too. I should own more Michael Frayn books, I only own this and one other.

Underexposed-Colin Jacobson
Not one to read before dinner. Or sleep. Or when feeling very hormonal. But it is photojournalism at its very scariest and showing the power of a picture.

Ocean-Fabien Cousteau
Lots of pictures of jellyfish and octopuses and such. Gorgeous.

Fruits
Japanese fashion fascinates me. I would never be brave enough to wear it, not in public at any rate, but I am besotted by the commitment to art/fashion/rebellion that some teenagers have. Tinged with a little envy…I’d love to be able to go out dressed like a school girl and it be cool.

Art Deco Architecture-Patricia Bayer
Art Deco=perfection to me. I love 20s/30s decor and architecture. This book, understandably I suppose, dedicates a lot of time to big famous buildings which is a bit of a pity. Much as I love those, what I really adore are the 1930s suburban houses (a big wadge of Wollaton in Nottingham is positively heavenly to me)

The Prisoner-Robert Fairclough
I went through a phase a few years ago of buying television series guides for no apparent reason. I mean I adore “The Prisoner” but i’m not quite sure why I felt the need to buy this (or “The Avengers” two books or “The West Wing” one, the “Blackadder” book, and the “Ally McBeal” guide either). The pictures are nice.

253-Geoff Ryman
I love fiction that plays with form. Love it love it love it. Would take it to bed and do unspeakable things frankly. And after BS Johnson, Geoff Ryman’s 253 is one of my most loved experimental fictions.

Ladder of Years-Anne Tyler
This was the first non-comedic non-politcal novel that I voluntary bought. I got a one chapter sample free with a magazine and had to buy the ruddy thing because I actually got interested. There’s something of the Reggie Perrin for girls about it…(no hippos though)

Miss Silver Comes to Stay-Patricia Wentworth
I was given this as a gift and I’ve only flicked through it. But I do love pulp novel covers, and bizzarely about a year ago my mum started reading Patricia Wentworth novels so she has read it (carefully and under my careful supervision which consisted of me yelping “be careful its delicate!”)

Affinity-Sarah Waters
Another stolen from the book buying ex. Along with Tipping the Velvet, both of which he purchased in hope of it being an intellectual lesbian porn fest. Poor bloke, very disappointed. I found TTV irritating to read so managed only a chapter, but Affinity isn’t all bad. Still not really my thing, too much emotional content for me

The Laughing Policeman-Maj Sjowall and Per Wahloo
If you like crime novels and have never read a Martin Beck story go straight to Waterstones, do not pass go, do not collect £200. Actually even if you’re not much into the crime genre and have never read Sjowall and Wahloo go get one now. Seriously its one of the few times where the carefully edited quotes from critics that cover the back actually reflect reality. They write in a way that only a pair of cynical ex-journalists could, and their writing is all the better for it. Without them the politically charged crime novels that make for good reading (and occasionally good television) wouldn’t be here.

Are You Being Served-Jeremy Lloyd
The novelisations of the scripts. Its unbelievably well read, hence its lack of cover. The white stripes are from a tipex tape mouse-I can’t stand tipex fluid, so when the mice came out I was pretty much correcting everything in sight…Anyway as well as being a a bit of a politically engaged teenager I also had (and still have if I’m honest) a big love of 70s/early 80s sitcoms. Yes it’s about as subtle as a 40ft poster, but I’m afraid in amongst my love of the kind of comedy that pulls nerdy boys (Monty Python/Blackadder) I love bawdy, unsubtle, twelve week run at Southsea Pier comedy too.

George Orwell Selected Writings
Erm I sort of stole this from school. But hey if one is going to be a thief George Orwell is a darned good thing to pinch. This is mostly him writing about the writing process, though there’s some Spain stuff in here. I went through a big George Orwell/Ernest Hemmingway/WH Auden/Spanish Civil War phase in my teens. Gosh I was a barrel of hormonal laughs…

A Little Knowledge-Michael Macrone
Philosophy and other ancient Greek thinking stuff boiled down into one page, for those of us who take four years to read less than twenty pages of a proper philosophy book. Like a Dummies guide minus all those irritating boxes with side notes.

Evolution as a Religion-Mary Midgley
I have had this book for about four years now and have got only to page 19. What can I say? I’m a slow reader

The Call Girl: A social and psychoanalytic study-Dr Harold Greenwald
This came from Shropshire county library and has a stern warning in the front “this book to be issued on demand *only*”. It is from 1958 and is a product of its time. That’s about the most flattering thing I can say about it.

The McDonaldization of Society-George Ritzer
A lot of it is stuff you could probably have worked out yourself anyway. I find Naomi Klein more readable. However, for those angry at the world kind of phases this gives you a billion more things to be furious at.

Dr Faustus-Christopher Marlowe
At least a couple of by regularish readers (Max and Becky) have had the misfortune of being on the end of one of my “they teach plays wrong in schools wrong” rants so I won’t repeat myself yet again. In the meantime I will tell you that Marlowe>Shakespeare. End of.

Ward, Lock & Co’s English Lake District
Its a guidebook from 1906, so is perhaps not the best thing to keep in your rucksack if you’re visiting Keswick today. However, it is the most wonderful little thing. The adverts are my absolute favourite part of it…
We discover that Palethorpes’ Sausages “really are delicious”, which is a somewhat surprised tagline…That Keating’s Powder is harmless to animals unless you happen to be a flea, moth or beetle kind of animal…That those awful claddagh rings much loved by Argos have been hawked in the back of books for a long time…We also discover that people who holiday in the Lakes are interested in insurance and sending their daughters to Eastbourne to schools with electric lighting, but no apparent curriculum…And that people who holiday in the Lakes are beset by a myriad of illnesses…

“Your ailment is nature’s reproof…To overcome that ailment you require nature’s assistance…Eno’s ‘Fruit Salt’ is nature’s own remedy, and an unsurpassed one. It is perculiarly adapted for any constitutional Weakness of the Liver, possesses the power of reparation when digestion has been disturbed or lost, and places the invalid on the right track to Health…A WORLD OF WOES is avoided by those who keep and use ENO’S ‘FRUIT SALT’…No family should ever be without it…CAUTION-Examine the Capsule and see that it is marked ENO’S ‘FRUIT SALT’, otherwise you have the sincerest form of flattery-IMITATION…Prepared only by-J.C.ENO, Ltd., ‘Fruit Salt’ Works, London S.E., by J.C.Eno’s Patent”
(Insert Brian Eno joke of choice here)

From my Flickr…aitchoo. Most readable at full size.

So I got the job, though I won’t start for a couple of months (if I don’t get my ass into gear and fill in yet another CRB form I won’t start at all), and it’ll be sporadic hours.

I am utterley and completely in love with my new (second hand) camera, and am  fairly much on a mission to take photographs of anything and anyone. I’ve not used an slr in yonks, and the previous one (which is sat in my bag doing naff all) was film. So this is a whole world of new buttons. I have banned myself from using any of the automatic pre-programmed functions and am restricted to only manual, aperature priority and shutter priority. My reasoning behind this is I’m never going to learn properly if I rely on the machine to make the decisions…It does however, result in passers by being subjected to somewhat manic cackling when I’m looking at the last thing I took a picture of. Today especially with the sun suffering from chronic indecisiveness, one picture okay the next veeeery over-exposed. But these are my efforts so far.

Right off to revise physics…*

————————————————————————————————————————-
*19 different bloody things listed on the exam frontsheet…*sigh*…including: lenses and sight correction, stochastic radiation, ultrasound, and the mechanical advantage of joints…wooo bet you’re jealous

• I have sore elbows, I woke up about three nights ago with them looking like a 7yr old’s knees. They hurt. However, I’m more annoyed that I don’t know why and how they got like this.

• My eyes are sore too, but that’s contact lenses. Nothing mysterious, just thought I’d share.
• I have a job interview in the morning. As well as any good luck thoughts you may kindly wish to have, I’d like some good direction thoughts as I’ve not had chance to practice going there.
• And I’m having to wear full on heels because my only non-sk8terish flats make me look about 6.
• Oh and as well as my elbows I’m covered in little bite marks. Not impressed. I may be a fan of the loving more than one concept, but my idea of more than one does not include arm biting little bugs.
• I won a camera on eBay. I’m very proud that I did proper saving and selling of previous cameras to buy it. I am aching for it to turn up though, really badly want to get my hands on it.
• Bizarrely quite miffed that I’m missing a stats lesson tomorrow. This is not normal behaviour I’m sure.
• Desperately trying to remember what that plumbing foam that you get in tube shapes is called…it’s not sponge. I know that because I can touch it without freaking out, and I can’t touch sponge…but I want to know its name so I don’t look a complete numpty when I go to B&Q.
• I want it because I’m changing a nappy bag into a camera bag…I absolutely loathe camera bags, they’re hideous to look at…really truly fucking ugly…and I’m sure having a camera brand name plastered all over something isn’t tremendously safe with regards muggers et al.
• I have an eye test on Friday. I’m grumpy. it needs doing though if I want more contact lenses. Which I do. I like being able to see where I’m going and not getting run over. But I dislike the battle for my prescription, the attempts to sell me after care and pretty much the whole process.
• Though I hate the dentist more.

I am in equal parts petrified, that I have done done as much as I would really like to, and relieved that the fecking thing is not dangling over me any longer. I do get tremendously attached to assignments. I am hugely competitive, not against other people in my class if someone gets a higher mark than me it is because they are better than me, but against myself. And sometimes with the person teaching me, sometimes because I like them, sometimes because I don’t. Sometimes both at once.

But it’s weird having done something that I’m this attached to instead of something that is merely interesting. Or not, as in the case of the last two assignments of last semester. I’m going to be utterly fucked three years hence with a dissertation. I can genuinely say giving birth was bloody easy compared. Even worse though, in one of those spanking hurts but is rather good paradox things, I really enjoyed it too. Much as it hurt I fancy doing it again.
The assignment that is.
Not the giving birth. I really didn’t like that. Never doing that again.

As Facebook buddies will realise I have now met an extraordinary number of employees of a certain power company (whose predecessor I once had a mind numbingly dull job with) in an effort to have water and heat. In the 14 days since it first ceased working I have:
*Met 5 different engineers, 2 of those twice.
*Had a shower so cold that it made me cry. Properly. I was scared for my boobs, in the end it was my toes and head that caused the weeping like a baby and shaking.
*Stayed in a cheap chain hotel whose name rhymes with Pavel Kodge. Which was actually okay, although why do they have their beds so close to the floor? You wouldn’t think being low down would make you dizzy, but apparently it does.
* For the first time ever walked to college. A mere 2.8miles though. From hotel to college. At 7am it was really rather nice.

In other news (mildly stats related look away now my piscean friend) that I’ve had a couple of search engine visits on the tag jnbt. And have discovered that it stands for Java Non Binary Tag. So to save potential further irritation of Java-heads I have reinitialled him MCOT. Also I am in the mood for reinitialling anyway.

I have got to got to got to get my individual project thing in at least draft form. Preferably, as near as damn finished as possible. And then I can find someone to read it and check I’m not a total moron (JNBT said he can skim but actually reading counts as a submission, and skimming seems pointless to me). But I do have to be strict with myself or I’ll never get it done.
I also need to revise for my Maths exam resit on Monday.Boos and hisses all round. If someone can explain to me why my brain can comprehend tricky stuff like logs, but can’t get relatively simple rules that don’t change for algebra to stay in there for more than 30seconds please tell.
And I need to get some notes for the parasite thing. Preferably not from random reports in Welsh on BSE. So that I can write that. in theory I have till May/June, but frankly I want the bloody thing out of the way. It would help if a single solitary parasite I have read about in my notes so far seemed inspiring. For causes of some major diseases they are quite frankly slightly dull little chaps.
And need to do some itty bits and bobs too, that I’d like to have finished by 7th February. So all of this semester is done and dusted.

My sting will be felt by firstly un-named power company and its repair man. Who texted at 7.30am saying “on way”, it’s now half six in the evening and still he has not emerged.
Second candidate for a big fat sting will be the student finance/support part of my college. Who have been given the money that students such as I and several of my classmates were ‘awarded’, and yet have been sat on it for weeks. The person who was dealing with it has not answered phonecalls/emails and I found out today that this is because she has changed departments (although how difficult it would be to reply to an email with “Sorry I don’t do that now, email X instead”?!) And the people who do, don’t answer their naffing ‘phones. They got the money in early December, and we were told “some point in January”. So we have till Friday then. I suspect when Monday comes N and I will indeed by going forth and kicking some ass (perfect antidote post exam). EDIT: letter today says it’ll be in tomorrow, yay. However, point still stands about it being sat on for blah weeks.
There’s a lot of things I like about the college I attend. Much of the time the apparent chaos is sort of endearing, like an elderly aunt who keeps forgetting why she went upstairs, and repeatedly buys tins of pilchards and balls of string  “just incase”.
It has some sweet little quirks, like it makes all the staff move offices yearly in some ongoing game of not very musical chairs (I gather they don’t like it so much, but I think they’re just not embracing the potential fun) and most of the telephone exchange seems to be programmed wrong (JNBT is a whole entire centre, which seems fairly unfeasable, he’s not a small bloke but a centre?)
This, however, annoys me. It’s not that they don’t have the ruddy money it’s that they’re sitting on it, without explanation. It isn’t theirs. I’m luckily to be cynical enough to assume that it wasn’t going to come in the first place, but more trusting souls, like N have budgeted on the assumption that it will. Knowing that the funding is there, but in someone else’s bank account with no reasonable explanation is tremendously frustrating.

Inappropriate Crushes

How inappropriate you think they are depends largely on 1) your worldview 2)your eyesight 3) your sexual orientation* 4) your psychological well-being…

Some are long term ones, some are more recent. Broadly those at the top are more recent.
Anyways some of these are entirely from an aesthetic point of view (i.e. I know

they’re a bit of a cunt, but gosh are they are pretty one and frankly you don’t need to talk for ten minutes or so), others from an “I’d quite like to lure you home and keep you, and not only shag* you senseless but actually have conversations with you, and I might even not have a hissy fit when you inevitably beat me at CoD Zombies” point of view. I’ll leave you to work out which are which… (oh and I’m fully aware some people on this list are dead, but no I don’t have some necrophiliac desires)

Richard Herring
Jenson Button
You Know Who
Michael McIntyre
Dominic West
Ben Goldacre
James May
Peter Capaldi
Charlie Brooker
Ken Stott
Alex Norton
Eddie Izzard
Mark Thomas
Ben Miller
Jeremy Hardy
Alan Rickman
John Lydon
Brent Spiner
Jonathan Miller
Paul Jones
Gary Oldman
Lenny Henry
Humphrey Lyttelton
David Duchovny
Howard Stableford
Michael Palin
Sherlock Holmes
Graeme Garden
James Stewart
Brian Cant
Alan Bennett
Johnny Morris

Broadly I think you could sum up my taste in men as-clever, grumpy, funny, argumentative, middle aged, fashion-allergic, brown-haired. Preferably socialist (though there’s one notable, though dead, exception on there), a wee bit rebellious, probably atheist or agnostic, with an appreciation of jazz, blues or shouty music.

*Am I the only person who conjours up images of some kind of induction day when people say “sexual orientation”? Like when you start a new job “this is your orientation week”…and yes I am actually juvenile enough to have sniggered under my hand when someone said that to me when we started college.
*Actually I loathe this word, fuck is much better, but it just doesn’t work in the sentence.

So far I have:

• Completed my report for the world’s dullest practical (put stuff in test tube, heat, cool, put other stuff in test tube, take bits of mixed stuff out, see if it changes colour of other stuff, stop when it stops changing colour of other stuff, repeat). He gave us no word count but said that the introduction part should at the very least equate to an essay. In my head an essay is 1000 words so that’s what I aimed for, and have ended up with a 15 page assignment. Which is going to be one of two things a) too short and I will discover that L (who is by far the smartest in the class by a long mile-she’s also quite nice too, so this is said factually rather than jealously) has submitted something of about 30 pages, or b) it’s far too long and he will pull one of those faces at me.
• Completed my creative writing piece, which was fooking harder than it should’ve been after not having been creative in far too long. The lovely MissMax had a peruse through to check it wasn’t utter crappola. I’m still worried it’s mawkish, but my head is now so filled with enzyme theory that short of making up a story about some jolly lyases I’m a creative void now.
• Almost finished draft three billion of my “I’m really lovely please let me in your university on the basis of this rather than me having to get on my knees” statement. But I have a dangling last sentence, and frustratingly can’t complete the form altogether till Monday at the earliest because I need some info from the course admin.
• Managed for my research project bit-2 email interviews, 1 further one waiting to be replied to and one telephone interview.  Whored myself shamelessly in an effort to get information, and have got very worried that the word limit of 2500 is really not going to be enough for what I want to say. (I did already mention this weeks back to JNBT where I asked if if he “realised you have opened Pandora’s box”, to which his not tremendously helpful response was “I know but it needs opening” and then cackled like some kind of fooking Bond villan).
• Gone for walk around a reservoir.
• Consumed an entire packet of mozzarella, most of a packet of edam and a bit of red leicester.
• Got into an argument about Facebook statuses, and consequently am no longer allowed to mention certain other human entities at all on the internet.