And this old world, is a new world, And a bold world for me
The lovely Señor Fish was talking about change earlier in the week today [I planned to scheduled this and then changed my mind], and whilst I’ve not really got any imminent changes I have been quite proactive of late.
Quite a lot of the time I do mooch along a bit. Not in a lazy or cowardly fashion, but more in the “if I’m going to fight a battle it better be bloody worth it”.
Similarly I am fastidious about being well behaved and law abiding, mostly, since I see no point going to prison for something stupid. If I ever end up on the wrong side of the law I’d like it to be something worthy of history books not for something daft like affray or nose candy. I’m not a good girl because I’m meek. I’m just saving my bad up for something worth it.
So my determined moods aren’t always that apparent, or that common. They tend to come in cycles (though I suppose by and large most humans are cyclical), and usually start with a rather intense need for exercise. And no that’s not an euphemism, I mean I start having bouts of staying up till stupid o’clock because I need to dance/hula-hoop for 3 hours. And I really do need to, I get properly angsty and fidgety if I don’t-I become the worst person on the planet to share a bed with.
Then when real life taps me on the shoulder and points out that if I keep staying up that late on a school night I’m likely to end up putting my clothes on the wrong way round and eating toothpaste, the energy gets diverted. My energies got diverted a bit sooner than normal thanks to some delightful emotional angst (thanks to Max, Becky and Jo for ‘ear and agreement that some people are tossers’ services). So I am in kick ass mode.
I have firmed up my university choice, after deciding that I can’t stand waiting for a decision that I’m not that bothered about anyway. So that is done and dusted.
I have decided that I am not doing Chemistry (well I am technically doing one assignment but it requires no going in). I don’t dispute that an understanding of chemistry is pretty fundamental for biological sciences, however being in a room full of on Bunsen burners is quite honestly hell. Partly because I have a temperature regulation system that appears to have been fitted by my local power company (another man came today, another on his way tomorrow-for the boiler I should add). But also because I am fucky terrified of fire. That I can turn on a gas oven without a stupid amount of panicking is down only to 5 years of getting used to it, and I still do so with some considerable trepidation. It is, to me, like being Marie Antionette and having a ruddy great guillotine in your garden. It is a big poster of death. Painful, hideous, suffocating death.
On the other thing, hmm, well I’m having me a Scissor Sisters moment…(and no I’m not actually planning murder-but this is their best song. I do not get why that ruddy I Don’t Feel Like Dancing is so popular, when they have much better stuff like this)
Tags: biology, chemistry, college, decision, fear, fire, pyrophobia, ucas
